Oh Shit! It's Fluffy!
by Wandering Oceans
Summary: Tobi got a cat. Unlike Tobi, the cat isn't a good boy. This means Hell for the Akatsuki! Ocean
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer. . . I obviously don't own the Akatsuki. I do, however, own the cat. Sorry Akatsuki, but you must suffer, for my enjoyment. Also this story is basically when I can't think of anything else to write, I write the most ridiculous thing I can think of. . . which is this.**

 **~Ocean**

Hell! That was one word to describe the Akatsuki's past week. Tobi had come home that Monday holding a monster contained inside a ferocious beast. Razor sharp claws and borsty fur! There was only one word that could deceive that horror. A cat!

The Akatsuki didn't have anything against having a pet cat, and Itachi was thrilled since he had one as a kid, but that didn't last past ten seconds. Within those ten seconds the dreaded devil's spawn was being all cuddly with Tobi, and trying to blind everyone else! Tobi had never been prouder of any living thing, declaring is cat to be a sweet love muffin . He named the cat Fluffy Snuggle Cakes Angel Face. Fluffy ( the cats nickname) was an accurate name from Tobi's point of view. Fluffy loved Tobi and would purr around him, head butting. Around the Akatsuki . . . Well that was a different story. Agony! Everyone was getting scratched and Deidara had found cat feces in his favorite shoes much to his distaste .

"Tobi , the cat has to go!" Deidara growled.

Tobi looked up innocently, Fluffy purring and head butting him. "What has Tobi's little angel cakes ever done to you. Look at how sweet he is !"

Deidara glared at the cat muttering about traitors.

The cat is how Hidan ended up hiding from sight for about a week.

"Hey. Have you guys seen Hidan? Tobi is looking for him." Tobi asked.

"No, not after the incident earlier today" Itachi said. "He was locking himself away."

"Okay, thanks. Tobi is going to go find him now!"

Tobi looked down at Fluffy who was rubbing against his body and proceed to look for Hidan in his manly man cave. He found the sadistic immortal on the couch . . . With a bowl of vanilla ice cream . . . And a soap opera?

"Hey Hidan . . . What are you doing?"

Hidan whipped around, a nasty gash on his face .

"Can't you f*cking see I'm f*cking mourning! They were about to get back together god damnit !"

"What's with the ice cream and why are you mourning over a soap opera? Can Tobijoin!" Tobi asked.

"It's f*cking unmanly to f*cking cry over a goddamn scratch. It's much better to drown my f*cking sorrows like a goddamn heartbroken girl on Valentine's Day goddamnit!" **( a/n for those that insist on getting butthurt over this, I'm a girl I'm well aware this is a stereotype, I'm not insulting women.)**

Yeah the cat was becoming a problem, and Tobi remained blind to negative talk against his precious Fluffy. This hate soon spread onto Pain, who managed to step on Fluffy's tail while trying to get to the bathroom in the middle of the Night. Fluffy made an angry meowing sound, followed by a hiss and a pounce. Fluffy's claws embedded themselves in Pain's skin as he cried out "I'm in so much pain!"

Itachi had yet to experience the "pain" of Fluffy.

Both Black Zetsu and White Zetsu experienced the agony of having Fluffy in the house when the cat insisted that his Venus flytrap like plant became the perfect place to sleep. The only way to remove Fluffy was to pull him off, while the cat clawed into Zetsu's scalp refusing to leave.

Konan, on the other hand, was either oblivious to Fluffy or just plain lucky.

"How the hell do you not hate Fluffy?!"

Konan looked at Pain confused.

"How could I hate such a sweet snuggle muffin?" She asked as she picked up the cat who had appeared out of nowhere. Pain gawked since the cat was purring and licking Konan's face.

Everyone was staring at Konan like she had grown a second head made out of a toaster, a duck, and a grand piano.

"Thank you ! Finally someone appreciates the sweetness of Tobi's dear Fluffy!" Tobi exclaimed.

"Are you kidding me right now, Fluffy ended up shredding all my clothes !" Kakazu exclaimed.

All the Akatsuki looked at him from top to bottom finally noticing that Kakuzu was in the room completely nude. Konan shrieked and wacked him in the face for not having any sense of dignity.

"Wow Kakuzu you had some bad luck, though it's not like I haven't felt the wrath of Fluffy. I tried to wash your cat since he didn't smell good . . . Let's just say there is a reason I'm wrapped from head to toe in bandages." Kisame replied.

Tobi looked confused at why people were accusing his Fluffy.

"Well, well, if Fluffy is really a devil, well how is Itachi not scratched . . . And Konan!?"

"I have the Mangekyou Sharingan." Itachi said.

"Oh." came a collective reply.

"No! It's because Fluffy is sweet!" Konan replied smiling at the kitty.

" Finally another sane person!" Tobi beamed.

Hidan checked the ingredients of his vanilla ice cream to make sure he wasn't hallucinating, while everyone else just stared.

And so the first tail of Fluffy Snuggle Cakes Angel Face came to a close.


	2. A Very Fluffy Christmas

**A Very Fluffy Christmas: The "Oh Shit It's Fluffy" Christmas Special**

Christmas with the Akatsuki! The most festive time of the year, and also the most destructive. This year, Tobi was a good boy, and so he decided to organize Secret Santa for the group. At first he wanted Fluffy to participate, but the Akatsuki was against that idea. In the end everyone's name was put into a hat so that the secret Santa's were picked.

Tobi already knew exactly what he was giving his secret Santa. Konan got Nagato (Pein), Nagato got Konan, Itachi got Black and White Zetsu. Deidara got Itachi, and Tobi? Tobi got Kisame.

Christmas arrived and it was time for the exchange. Konan, Nagato, Itachi, Deidara, Black and White Zetsu all received thoughtful gifts.

"Merry Christmas, Lot's of love from Tobi!" Tobi exclaimed handing Kisame the package.

Kisame opened the package to find it filled with Hugging Fluffy coupons.

As if Fluffy was a part of a summoning ritual, the cat who had been asleep on the couch appeared next to Kisame with an evil grin. Well if cats could grin in the first place. Kisame shrugged and picked the cat up. The originally peaceful Christmas lasted only a minute longer. A high pitched scream traveled through the Akatsuki apartment.

"GET THIS BEAST OFF MY SCALP!" Fluffy seemed to think that Kisame would taste good considering he was part fish. Fluffy was biting Kisame's head and not letting go.

This time Tobi screamed, but not with pity for Kisame.

"What did you do to Tobi's Fluffy, you are going to dislocate his Jaw! How could you Kisame? I give you a beautiful gift and you go and hurt this precious and innocent snuggle muffin!"

Konan agreed and carefully lifted Fluffy from Kisame's scalp and cradled the cat as if he hadn't assaulted Kisame a few moments earlier. Fluffy who loved the attention fell asleep in Konan's arms.

"Thank you for saving Tobi's Fluffy!' Tobi repeated many times actually hugging Konan.

The rest of the Akatsuki didn't seem to have too much pity or sorrow for Kisame because they were laughing. Itachi almost fell off the couch from laughter but got his Uchiha dignity to prevent that. Deidara on the other hand wasn't so lucky and actually toppled backwards over the comforter, but continued laughing on the floor.

"You know something? I'm starting to really like Fluffy!" Nagato said through laughter.

"I know he is basically a super weapon. . . Hey has anyone seen Hidan?"

Everyone looked around and shrugged.

Itachi flipped on the T.V to have the news page flash on:

" **Recent news discovers that a member of the Akatsuki slaughtered and entire village. He was seen desperately praying to Jashin, about saving him from a supposed Fluffy! The Hokage, Kazekage, and Raikage have all agreed that this Fluffy could prove to be a volatile weapon. A reward has been offered for the capture of this Fluffy, because this could finally be the sole way to defeat the Akatsuki!"**

Deidara choked on his sake, Itachi actually fell from his chair this time.

"I think we now know where Hidan is. . ." Nagato grumbled.

"NOOOOOOOOOO NOT TOBI'S FLUFFY, WE MUST PROTECT TOBI'S PRECIOUS!" Tobi wailed once he figured out what was going on.

Konan had to comfort a distressed Tobi.

The Akatsuki decided that they had enough Christmas and decided to go to bed despite it being 11:00 in the morning. No one wanted to know what had happened to the sanity of their world.

 **I seriously have no idea where this idea came from. . . I hope you all enjoyed it anyway.**


End file.
